Love is not personal?

Nobody knows what Love is exactly, but most people agree it is key to happiness somehow.

Obviously the word “love” as a noun does not point to a thing we can get or buy anywhere. As a verb it means all kinds of things.  We say “I love ice cream” as easily as “I love you”. So what does it mean at all when “me” says that?

Could it be that the personal form of love is always tied to conditions. “I love you” often applies for as long as “you behave” the way I like. When I do not like what you do or say, I may not love you anymore.

So this is a finite love. In other words, it can and will disappear. It is dependent on beliefs, conditions and personal preferences. Certainly this kind of love can be comforting, but there is the constant possibility of its absence when conditions change.

So does “unconditional” love exist at all?

Most parents experience something like unconditional love for their newborn child. It may feel as a kind of universal love, shared by humans all over the world. It seems to appear spontaneously when we are faced with the miracle of a new life, a new being.

Many people also may experience a deep love at the very end of life, when they realize that “things” no longer matter, that only the people and relationships and friendships in their life mattered.

Could it be that only when our personal conditions, beliefs and judgements fall away for a moment that something like “unconditional love” can be? Could it be that when all need for having something or getting something falls away, only then this love can be?

If that is so, then perhaps such unconditional love is not personal at all and has nothing to do with “you”. It can’t be sought or “had” by any-one. It flowers when the “self” is not.

 

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